Everyone Hates Talking About Money

We don’t brag about how much money we make. We don’t ask our friends or colleagues about their salaries. We don’t talk about how much we pay in rent or how much we’re saving. We just don’t. Those are the rules — even if these things could help put our own financial lives into perspective.

• Money is the top cause of stress in America — 72% of people reported feeling stressed about money sometime in the last month.

• 43% of Americans don’t know how much money their spouse makes.

• 57% admit to purposely avoiding talking about money with friends — 20% say they never talk about money. Ever.

• People are 7x more likely to talk to a stranger about sex, affairs, and sexually transmitted diseases than discussing their salary.

While these statistics may not be surprising to you, simply thinking about money can be intimidating and stress-inducing.

To be more precise, it’s not that most of us have a problem talking about money in general terms; we just don’t like to talk about our money. Our days are filled with conversations about what people buy, what they do for a living, where they went to school, a certain discount they scored, and what hot stock they jumped on. But we have very few conversations about personal income, expenses, budgeting, savings, investing, insurance, etc.

“There is so much subtext and hidden meaning wrapped up in money. Money is shorthand for happiness, power, and personal efficacy, so it can be very scary. When money is short, it can be seen as a deficiency on the part of the breadwinner, and when there is lots of money, there can be fears that greed takes the place of genuine love.” - Daniel Crosby

Silence about our personal finances comes from shame and embarrassment about what we think our finances should look like. There’s no universal measuring stick that we can use to answer “How am I doing?”. So we compare ourselves to friends and family, which is terribly ineffective because we are only likely to see what they do for work and what they buy. Both of which have very little to do with what’s really happening behind the scenes.

What’s more, a universal measuring stick, even if we could settle on one, is a bad idea altogether. We all have different definitions of success and we are all working toward different goals. Personal finance is mostly an art and less of a science. And, odds are, if you were to have an open conversation about finances with a friend, you might find they’re struggling with a lot of the same things you are. Everyone would like to make more, save more, and spend less.

If finances cause you stress and anxiety because you’re ashamed of the decisions you’ve made, it’s natural to keep things to yourself — but ignoring your financial situation will inevitably cause harm. Without attention, minor problems happening on a regular basis compound to substantial challenges.

Be open and honest about your financial situation. Money shouldn’t be a source of stress, uncertainty, and isolation, but a tool to help reach your goals in life. Take some time to start learning. Start with what you’re currently struggling with or have questions about. Find a trusted individual and talk about your situation. The more comfortable you become talking about saving, investing, debt, etc., the more opportunities you’ll have to learn and to build a healthy relationship with money.

So, with this newsletter let’s talk about money! Let’s dive deep into what really matters when it comes to personal finances. You’ll get my thoughts, and maybe a few hot takes, on how you can use money to live better. After all, whether you like it or not, money talks.

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If the trusted individual you talk to about money is Creed, listen to everything he says. It’s usually spot on.

Thanks for reading!